I ate mouse. and zimmy-zonga

A few minutes ago, as I laid JOnas down for bed, he made up a story. I will try to retell it to the best of my ability:
Me: what else do you want to pray for?
J: Miss Keisha.
Me: ok, pray for miss keisha... what about her?
J: Miss Keisha has mouse.
Me: she has a mouse?
J: Miss Keisha hold mouse in hand. (he cups his hands to demonstrate). Miss Keisha put mouse in Jodis (jonas) hand. jodis hold mouse!
Me: Miss keisha gave you a mouse to hold?
J: Miss keisha put mouse in jodis hand! Jodis hold mouse. Jodis EAT mouse! (puts his hands to his mouth) **whooom!** (eating sound)
Me: you ate a mouse?
J: (chewing) mouse in mouth! jodis eat mouse in mouth. jodis spit out. (he holds his hands up and pretends to spit something large out of his mouth). Heeeah (here) mommy. you eat mouse.
Me: ok... (I pretend to eat the mouse).
J: i want see in mouth!
Me: (opens mouth)
J: there is mouse in deee-uh (there)!
Me: Yup! I ate the mouse!
J: eww, mommy eat mouse! mommy, spit it out! Jodis want eat mouse!!
Me: (pretends to spit it out and give it to joe.)
J: (pretends to eat the mouse. this time with exaggerated chewing. he whos me his mouth) mouse in jodis mouth!!
Me: I see it in there! how did that mouse get in there?
J: I put it in dee-ah! (points to self)
Me: oooh.
J: (frezes, stares. makes a BIG pretend swallow, smacks his lips, and smiles big) Jodis saw-yo mouse!
Me: You're silly!!
J: (laughs and screams)

Since I am writing a blog, I guess I should update the weekly happenings. The most important of which is that Brandon finally got his graduation/father's day gift sunday: a kitten. My requirement was that it must have a Harry Potter name. It's name started as Catface Meowmers... we decided eventually that "catface" which is what we all were calling it, just wan't good enough. More names were discussed. "Marvolo", "Digory", and "Norbert" were in the running. I got home from work today and Brandon said he really wanted to name it Ronan. I am pretty sure there is a centuar named Ronan, so I think ol' catface is now named Ronan. Luckily, Jonas can say this name very clearly. Ronan is an orange tabby, and appears to be very sweet. Not being a huge cat person, this is important to me.

We took Jonas to the pound on saturday to look at the kittens, and he was pretty much a devil child. Even though he hasn't had any accidents in weeks, he decided it was time to break the tradition about 1 minute after we got there. He promptly peed all over brandon. This is not why he was bad,,, i mean, it's just an accident... but it didn't help that we forgot clothes for him to change into, and that he had ANOTHER accident 20 minutes later. He was mostly being a huge butt because he was trying to scare all the animals, and was refusing to listen. He was running, jumping (yes, real jumps, his new skill), screaming, and throwing cat food that he found on the floor at every animal he could. It was not a pretty scene. Defeated, we left early.

Sunday, we went back and got the cat that brandon wanted, then took Jonas immediately to the doctor because his eyes had been nasty. Jonas was AMAZING at the doctor! I couldn't believe he was my son. He calmly walked in the office by himself, didn't pitch a fit when we didn't get to the waiting room to see the fish, stood on the scale like an old pro, walked in the waiting room, and sat calmly waiting for the doctor. The doctor came pretty fast since it was Sunday, and Joe complied instantly like an adult to everything he asked (can you look this way? can you open your mouth? stick your tongue out? lay down? hold still?). It was totally crazy. I don't know what made him decide it was ok this time (usually it's a scraming fit to get close to the building) but i'm glad it was different!

Anyway.... joe had to stay with brandon monday, and they had a good time. Brandon did IM me at work to say that he suggested they make something fancy for lunch. Joe say "ses, madt(make) something fan-tee!(fancy)" brandon suggests lasagna. Jo says "No want make zimmy-zonga!"
A W E S O M E !

Nicole and Ivan came over last night to meet the kitty... we had a good time! I wish we lived closer to everybody... it would be sooo nice!

Surprise in the trash truck

Tonight Jonas and I were playing with some of his trucks, when he pointed into one of his trash trucks and said "uh-oh, oh no!" I looked in the front seat of the trash truck, and sure enough, there appeared to be some brownish stain in the bottom of it where the driver would sit. I also noticed that one of the stickers looked like it hat undergone some trauma caused by a liquid or something. I figured Jonas had tried to pur his juice in there... awesome.

I don't know what posesed me to do it, but I stuck my pinkie finger in and smelled a sample of the mostly dried liquid. It was definitely NOT juice. I said, "Jonas, did you pee in your trash truck?" (pause... ) "...ses." Gross. Although this does explain how he managed to wet the bed last week. His pullups have never let us down on the bed wetting front, and he doesn't even wet his pull ups sometimes... he must have thought this was a good idea. At any rate, we told him not to do it again, and he seemed to agree it was a bad idea!

Ugly Bug!

Jo, the past couple of weeks have been a tremendous improvement in Jonas. We started a zero-tolerence spanking policy, wherein once Jonas gets to 3, he gets a spanking always. This has worked wonderfully. He has maybe had 5 spankings in 2 weeks... this is a huge improvement from before where it was more like 2-5 spankings per day. He has almost completely stopped pitching tantrums (for more than a few seconds), he actually is listening, and while he still whines, he is getting MUCH better! Glorious! And to top it all off, I heard a bit on NPR a while back that was talking about a research study of children who were spanked (not beaten... spanked) and they did MUCH better in school, were better adjusted, played better with other children, and were all around better. the only down side was they said some children who were spanked after the age of 12 were sometimes slightly more aggressive... well, that makes sense!

Jonas has been working hard at the "me" "you" "I" concept. He is starting to get it. We are trying to teach him how to not-speak-in-third-person. He still says "Pick You Up!" all the time, and we say "Pick ME up?" "sees, pick ME up!" (of course, he doesn't say his "c,k,g" sounds... they're all "t" sounds now.) He does have some wins, though... he said "I want musit!(music)" yesterday, and occasionally he throws in another "I" statement correctly.

Tonight we have the best-smelling toddler in the USA. We took a bath, and Jonas wanted to use "daddy sam-poo". "Ok", I thought, the bottle was empty... so he couldn't use much. Brandon has some AXE body wash that he got a long time ago because he wanted a rubber duckie with devil horns that AXE was giving away with the wash... anyway.... SO I shook what I thought was little shampoo down to the bottom of the container and squirted out onto Jonas's waiting hands enough body wash to easily cleanse Brandon, Jonas, Rudy, and Me. He was delighted-- and what'd not to love? it's BLUE! In conclusion... Jonas smells very, very good. and of course, he had to put on deodorant after he got out of the tub. He loves-- check it. LOVES putting on brandon'd deodorant. He probably puts it on twice a day. I don't mind. It smells good! Anyway.. yeah-- good smellin' little boy!



Now, before we got in the tub for a bath, I usually grab mine and Brandon's basket full of body wash and shampoo out of the shower, but tonight there was one of those ugly bugs that for some reason are in our shower about once a month... they look liek a cross between a centipede and a camel cricket... a disturbing combination. Yet, I have grown soft to these atrocious little creatures, as I feel like they're pretty pitiful when they get hit with water. They aren't very hardy like ants or beetles... they get wet, they flail for about 3 seconds, and then they just go limp and wash down the drain, dead. Anyway.... yeah. they are kind of pitiful in that way. Point being, there was an ugly bug to dispose of. I got the toilet paper, while Jonas watched with interest and interjected his comments, such as "Oo no! udee bud in bad-det (ugly bug in basket)." I got the bug and said I was going to throw him away, and so I did, into the toilet. I then proceeded to clean out the bathtub while Jonas continued his ugly bug commentary "udee bud fall down in wa-der (water). Jodis see udee bud. OH NOO! Udee bud craw (crawl) out! Udee bud comin' out! MOMMY!" Sure enough... I thought I squashed the bug, but apparently not. He had started to crawl out of the bowl but couldn't get completely out. I flushed him. Jonas continues, "Mommy flush udee bud down podee (potty), bug going bye bye, bye bye udee bud!"
It was pretty cute! =)

So, when JOnas goes to bed we usually do prayers... usually, Jonas will just point at stuff to pray for, but tonight he prayed for super cute stuff... we prayed for(in this order): Obi & Dee-neey (danny), Mimi, mimi sat! (grammy, grammy sad) Old mimi! Old mimi sat! (old granny, old granny sad) old mimi's house. un-doe dim, ann dee-oh (uncle tim aunt jill), Summer (yes, pronounced correctly). Precious =)

The Moon is Spicy

I will try to get this story right, as it came from Brandon’s POV.

Yesterday, Brandon and Jonas were outside playing, when Jonas spotted one of his favorite things to spot: The Moon.

J: MOON!! MOON!
B: yeah, Joe, that’s the moon!
J: Reach moon! (stretches arms over head)
B: Well, I don’t think you’re tall enough, buddy.
J: (looks a little miffed, but recovering quickly) Daddy reach moon!
B: (stretches his arms up) Nope, it looks like daddy isn’t tall enough either.
J: Daddy pee-up Joedis (pick up Jonas). Reach moon! Touch Moon!
B: Well, I can, but I think we’ll still be too far away.
J: (now slightly defeated, changes his mind and points to his chest.). Joedis Eat moon. (now reaches both hands up and brings to moutn several times)
B: Oh! You want to eat the moon?
J: seees (yeeees)
B: What do you think the moon tastes like?
J: hmmm (taps finger on mouth while contemplating). Moon pice-dee! (spicy)
B: (laughs) You think the moon is spicy, huh?
J: ses! Need te-up (ketchup) eat moon!
B: Oh, you need ketchup? Well, that will make it less spicy.

Now other stories from this week. On Tuesday, Brandon (as usual) got Jonas from school, where he was told that Jonas had pooped in his underwear at nap time, and neglected to tell anyone about it. Mrs. Michelle, his teacher, had a stuffy nose and didn’t smell anything, but as Joe was walking around, apparently a turd fell out of his pants and that was when they realized something was amiss. Hehe, poor kid!

Last night, after Jonas wanted to eat the moon we went out to eat. We’ve been trying to go to this new Japanese hibachi grill near our house, but it’s been too crowded every time we’ve tried to go. Jonas has been very disappointed every time. He was very excited about the “foo fies! Hambadurs! Ra-a-not!” (French fries, hamburgers, restaurant). Since we couldn’t get in, we settled for Mexican. Jonas insisted on sitting in the booth with us, and to our pleasant surprise, he was a very sweet little boy there. He got a booster seat and enjoyed his chips with pice (spice). He decided he needed some salt and pepper on his chips, and (like any other kid) proceeded to WAY overload them. We felt this was a learning moment and let him try his chips... he did not care for them. =) He shortly thereafter wanted Brandon's lemon.. and what parents would we be if we didn’t give him the lemon?? Also hilarious. He screwed his face up, eyes closed, and shaking… it was awesome.

NO write a title!

As I have mentioned before, Jonas has been ridiculous. Here are some recent examples:

Sunday, Brandon and I are talking about which way to go back from church that most easily passes the grocery store. Brandon asked if we should take West Market Street, I agreed. Jonas, however-- Jonas decided to chime in "NO date West Mardet Deet." (no take west market street!). Brandon and I simply looked at each other as if to say "did that really just happen?!"

Now for Monday...(this is Brandon writing this paragraph) Jonas started the day off a little sick, so we spent the morning on the couch watching The Mighty Ducks, got some Wendy's for lunch, and then he took a splendid 3 hour nap. he woke up, we went for a walk and called grandma to see if she could get on Skype for a video call. she had to eat first so while she went off to do that, jonas asked for a pb&j sandwich. he had been good so i obliged. i figured grandma was gonna call any minute so i asked him if he would like to finish his sandwich sitting at the computer. he said yes so i got him out of his chair and set him on the floor. i grabbed my can of soda walked to the computer telling jonas to follow me. meltdown. he started screaming "daddy, pick up" over and over. i told him "no, i can't pick you up, i have a drink in my hand." (sure i could have put the drink down, but he was just being ridiculous. besides, he is perfectly capable of walking the 20 feet to our bedroom) i sat at the computer and waited for him to come in. he made it to the corner, just far enough for me to see him from my chair, and screamed louder "daddy, pick up". i told him i would pick him up when he got to the chair. "daddy, pick up right here". i then ignored him, he knew the deal, but after about 4 minutes of hysterical "daddy, pick up right here," i started to count him. his scream changed to "daddy pick up right here. no three spankin." needless to say, he got to 3. he then ran in the opposite direction (proving that he was capable of moving on his own, by the way). i caught him, took away the remains of his sandwich, administered a spank, and put him in his room. i told him he could come out when he was ready to quit being ridiculous..........5 minutes of screaming later, i hear his door open and close. i asked if he was coming out and he calmly answered "yes". he then proceeded to walk to the bedroom door and say "daddy pick up right there," and pointed to the spot he had been standing in for earlier fit. i said no, and he started to lose it again. this time he stopped when i got to 2. he said he had to pee so i took him to the bathroom. he finished, we got his pants up and i started to head back to the computer. this time he asked very calmly, "daddy, pick up right here pleeeeaaaasssssse." so i said, "yes, see how much easier that is when you ask nicely without whining?"..."yyyyeeeesssss". then we talked to grandma but it was more like jonas ignoring her and trying to get into everything on the desk...anyways, the kid is ridiculous.

Bite marks and sticker residue

Let's begin with a story from this past Friday, where Jonas was, as always, at grandma's house. Lisa has a bunch of foam letters that are used for making posters. They have some heavy duty sticky-tape on the back if you can peel off that backing. She had given some to Jonas to play with. A few minutes go by, and she hears Jonas asking for help (nee 'elp!). Since he asks for help ALL THE TIME, she mostly ignored him, only to hear cries of "NEE 'ELP!! BALLS NEE 'ELP!! Pee-nis nee 'elp!!" Well, THAT got her attention! =) She ran in to see that he had removed the backing to a letter "N" and had promptly decided where it needed to be placed. Not wanting to half-heart it, he had pushed it on there REALLY well. Well enough that she had time to locate and turn on her camera (2 minutes-ish) before he finally managed to pull the thing off! Yes, there waqs a video, no I will never post it... I think we've already deleted it. Hilarious!

Today Jonas came home from school with a perfectly round bite mark on his forearm, and an "ouch report" along with it. Now, I know what you're thinking... and it would make sense: he got bitten. NO- this is not the case. He, in fact, decided it would be a good idea to suck on his arm for the better part of the afternoon today, despite being told to stop. result: hickey with tooth marks. Lovely. It looks pretty bad-- like, to the point that a parent at the park saw his arm when he was on the play equipment and commented that it looked like he had a good bite mark there. goodness... i don't think they believed me when i told them it was self-inflicted!

Brandon and I are slowly trudging through Jonas's "terrible two's". And yes, they are terrible. Let the record show that while I generally update this blog with all of Joe's cuteness, it's not because he's nothing but precious. That child is SUPER whiney, testing every chance he gets, actively defiant, etc. Oh my goodness, these are certainly the days of wondering why we thought kids were a good idea. I've come to the conclusion that God must have made children adorable so that they wouldn't be killed at a young age.... yes. this makes sense to me! Anyway, there's always good sprinkled in there, and even when he's at his most obnoxious, we can usually look back and laugh. For example:

On saturday, Jonas was running around outside and fell and scraped his knee. Yes, he is a real boy now. Anyway, the actual abrasion was about the size of a thumbprint, and the area that made it through enough layers of skin to draw blood was no bigger than a small paper cut-- so anything but dire. You would have thought the child had been drug through the town behind a chariot or something! I mean, ok, I expected the poor guy to be upset when he first fell, but he went way above and beyond the call of duty for "hurT nee!" theatrics the rest of the evening.
He walked around without bending his leg (when he remembered he had fallen, that is), he even crawled around without using his knee for a while when he saw his band aid again. The child even LIMPED around the house for a while after his bath because he could see his band aid again and was reminded of the tragic knee-scraping incedent of '10. While we were taking a bath, he would dig his finger into the band aid and scream "KNEE HURTS!!! HURT KNEE!" to which we would respond "well, you are hitting your knee, that probably does hurt." Poor kid. we finally decided the band-aid was coming off so we could stop the theatrics. That worked perfectly. He hasn't had a problem since. Of course, now i'm scared of what his drama skills will be when hes older if he's this bad at 2!

Ok, I admit, I know that was supposed to be a "funny later" story, but it was really pretty funny at the time.

This reminded me of his stalling yesterday. He got in trouble playing outside because he ran away and refused to come back-- getting closer and closer to the road. Obviously, this didn't fly, so we told him he could either walk himself back to the house for time out, or we could carry him back for time out and a spanking. Needless to say, he chose to take himself. To stall his punishment, he (of course) walked as slowly as possible, which we sped up by counting him; and he also walked in as many zig-zag's as possible by walking by ever single tree or bush, sticking out his hand and saying "moo-me tee" (excuse me, tree!), "moo-mee l'l'l'l tee!" (excuse me little tree!), "Sozzie bush, moo-me" (sorry bush, excuse me) and so on. **sigh** well, i guess that's points for creativity at least! =)

An april miracle!

This morning Jonas woke up and was totally dry! OMG! this is a win.