L'"L"L Bit?

So, more Jonas stories. Man, do I ever need to post here every day!

Yesterday Brandon was watching Jonas in the afternoon so I could get some work done. I didn't get any work done, because I was too busy enjoying listening to Jonas's exploits. He asked Brandon if it was Friday, and of course, it was only monday, so Brandon said no. Then the following conversation occured (no, this is not perfectly quoted, and yes, Brandon was perfectly calm and holding back laughter)
j: "mama's house??"
b: "no, it's still not friday".
j: "Go mama's house!"
b: "ok, fine. go ahead and go... bye!"
j: (smiles, runs over to a bag on the floor that he packed several days ago. it contained 5 diapers, a small boucing ball and a pair of pants.) "bak bag!"
b: yeah, you should probably pack a bag. what are you going to put in it?
j: "this!" (jonas begins to putter around looking for things to pack. he settles on his pig pillow).
b: ok, it's time for you to go, bye bye!
j: (gets distracted and starts talking about all the things he's going to do at grandma's house). see Lilly! see ke-en (kerin) see Max! see gima (he now says' the g in grandma)! see deuce! ...no see fish! (he shruggs, bends over and looks around, pantomiming looking for a fish) "where fish? no fish!"
b: (laughing hysterically but silently) yeah, no fish, the fish is dead, huh?
j: (unabashed, continues to rant about what he will do and who he will see) cImb wall! push swing! papa play he-e-o-op-ter! numnumnumnum! Wheeeeee! (he has moved to onomatopoeia in his excitement and is now just running around pantomiming how much fun he is in for).
b: ok, well, you had better get going then... bye bye!
j: (waves) bye! bye daddy! bye Ru-ru! bye ru-ru's house! bye daddy's house! bye baby george bush! (thinks it over... grabs baby eric george bush, starts over...). bye daddy! bye ru-ru! bye ru-ru's house, bye hair brush! bye dash duck (trash truck)! (thinks it over, grabs the trash truck). Bye daddy!
b: bye.. you'd better get going! it's getting dark!
j: (runs to the door... opens it ans stands half in half out) bye house! bye Obi! bye miss darleen! bye ru-ru!
b: i don't think you're really going, you look like you're stalling!
j: huh?
b: you aren't really going are you?
j: daddy. (points to brandon) dive.
b: you want me to drive?
j: (nods and smiles)
b: no, i'm not going to do that. you'll have to get there on your own...
j: (looks downcast, but determined) bye bye daddy!
(he says more bye byes, but i cut them... eventually he got out the door. this was a 20 minute ordeal. Brandon called me in as soon as he left the house).

We watched as jonas continued to babble excitedly and attempt to corral his overnight bag as he walked out to the cars, and decided to take brandon's car. you could hear him saying "daddy's car!". he tries the door... no luck. "KEYS!" he is running back to the house in no time chanting "keys! keys! keys!" and of course, his bag is getting tangled up, so he's struggling there. he gets back inside and asks brandon for the keys. "nope, sorry, i don't think that would be a good idea... you should probably walk." jonas agrees, but starts to seriously stall and eventually the whole thing peters out. regardless, it was pretty amusing for us all!

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The Penis stories:
rudy was sitting on the couch one day and was just a little excited about something. Joe took notice.
"Daddy!!"
"what?"
"RU-RU!"
"what??"
j: "RU-Ru pee-is!"
b: oh, yep, that's Rudy's Penis.
j: "a l-l-l-l bit pee-is?" (a little bit of penis?)
b:(laughing) yep, just a little bit of penis, good talkin' joe.

one night sitting on the couch reading, jonas stopped and pointed at himself and said
"Joe. "
me: "yes, that's Joe!"
j: Joe, pee-is.
b/me: yup, Joe has a penis.
j: (points at brandon) daddy. pee-is.
me/b: yes.
j: (points at rudy) "ru-ru, pee-is."
me/b: yes. rudy has a penis.
j: (points at me) "mommy. Noooo pee-is." (shakes his head and waves his arms).
me/b: nope, mommy doesn't have a penis.
j: HAH! no pee-is! mommy no pee-is!

i could go on... oh, so many more stories, but this will do.

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Jonas has definitely reached the terrible two's age. He is smart. He is crafty and passive aggressive. He has been spanked a lot.

After getting potty trained, he's decided to weaponize this and simply pee his pants as often as possible so that he can remain a "ne-ed boy!" (naked boy). not. Good.

He has refused to obey many times, and therefore has gotten a time out. he has to sit in time out until he is ready to obey. last night, for example, he got a time out jumping on rudy. he sat on the ottoman and then got off. we asked if he was ready to obey. "no." he then proceeded to go sit back on the ottoman for a minute. repeat 3 times. finally, "yes obey." the end.

Obviously, he gets a spanking sometimes. some times are more ridiculous than others. for example, a few days ago brandon asked jonas to help clean up. naturally, he said no, and brandon told him he was not going to grandma's house until he put awa his blocks, brandon would do the rest. now, there were only 3 blocks out. jonas opted to sit in time out until the room was clean (minus the 3 blocks). Brand told jonas he needs to clean them up, or a spanking will result (we use the 1-2-3 and a 3=spanking, so each of these "spankings" was really a count to three and a spanking). jonas refuses. spanking. jonas touches the blocks, walks away. another spanking. jonas throws the blocks towards his room, and stops doing anything. another spanking. jonas moves the blocks to the bathroom. brandon threatens another spanking with the 1 count. jonas moves the blocks to the hall closet. 2 count. jonas finally gets the blocks into his bedroom closet. win. ridiculous.

jonas spent much of yesterday complaining that his foot hurt. did it? no. he fell over and stubbed his toe that morning, was fine, but every time he looked at his foot and was not getting what he wanted he would whine and say "foot hurt! foot hurt! pick up mommy! (or daddy)" **rolls eyes** it took us most of the day to figure out he was faking... pretty slow. that kid!